Love Lessons from the Russian Cab Driver

It's been a rough road for me over the past two years, with this past year being the most gut-wrenching and lonely.  I watched my marriage corrode into such a dysfunctional state and realized I had no interest or desire to mend it.  I didn't like the person I was married to and really liked myself even less for who I had become and what I lost sight of within myself over the years.So, I struggled to reconnect with myself again, to distance myself from the negative and tried to embrace what was important to me so I could overcome the challenges I invited into my life. 

Without meaning to, I met someone wonderful who helped me reach deep into my soul - I felt alive again, desired, wanted, loved, adored and it was amazing!  And, then, for the first time in more years than I can remember my heart was broken--all of it crashed down around me and I was left shattered into a million peices.  I couldn't feel a thing.  I was numb to everything.  Food had no taste, the words within my books were merely collections of random letters and gibberish.  My energy was gone, I could barely pull myself together.  Want to know what's more tragic about all this?  I have two wonderful children who had to watch this happen and I'm sickened by how that may have impacted them. 

Slowly though, after more nights of seemingly endless crying and brooding, I came back.  I didn't realize how strong my spirit was until recently... not sure if I ever want to figure out what would kill it entirely, but for now, I'm going to venture out and say I can survive just about anything.

EXCEPT perhaps my recent ride home from the airport the other day.  What a trip!  I disembarked my flight, 20 minutes ahead of schedule, my suitcase was one of the first off the luggage belt, the taxi lane was empty and I was the only one in line.  Then, a beautiful Ford Expedition pulls up - clean, new and ready to carry me back to my car so I can go home.  Once my door closed, however, my seemingly positive mood and light hearted feelings were turned upside down.

I got to meet "Vlad" (taking creative strides to name this angel).  Vlad is an older man, probably in his mid 50s and Russian.  He had a LOT on his mind and he was going to make sure to share everything he knew about love with me whether I wanted to know or not.  I definitely believe in fate - and there is a divine reason why I was connected with this cabbie.  Vlad is bitter...after 3 marriages, countless failed relationships with girlfriends, and a daughter who doesn't like him much, of course he's angry...wouldn't you be if all the women in your life made you miserable? 

What shocked me though - after hearing him rant and rave on and on about how horrible these women are, how he gives and gives and gives, he still says he believes in love...true love.  That it exists.  He knows this because he's seen it.  Not personally in his own life mind you - see above about wives and girlfriends.  Evidently, his brother has a beautiful marriage.  He married young, and soon after he married, his kidneys failed.  Vlad donated one of his own kidneys to his brother (great guy, right?).  This young bride stuck by her husband - through the sickness, the surgeries, the recovery.  The young couple attempted to open and operate their own restaurants in Russia, only to have them fail and they were broke...she would come from her job, then work at the restaurants with her husband, breaking her back to make sure they could make one a success.  Through all this better or worse, sickness and health, she stood by him and never left him.  To Vlad, this is what love is all about. 

It's about loyalty and dedication.  It's about knowing that all you put into your relationship will be returned back to you - maybe not at once, but over time.  It's believing in the person you're with so much so that you cannot let them fail. 

After hearing all of this, I was left thinking of my situation.  I knew again, that my marriage was not the one that Vlad's brother had.  I don't have that partner who believes in me so much that he won't let me fail.  I also had to sit back and realize that I may be becoming bitter like Vlad.  I may be unknowingly wishing for other relationships to fail because I can't have one that works.  And, honestly, how is that any good?  If I project bitterness towards others in loving, caring relationships (even subconsciously), then I'm only going to attract negative energy back into my life and I will NEVER be happy ever again.

So, the cab ride ended with Vlad saying he still believes in love, that all of these women are just crazy and clearly it's them, not him that is the problem.  Vlad pulls my suitcase from the back of the truck and drops it next to me on the blacktop... really, I think to myself?  You can't put my suitcase in my trunk for me as a gentlemanly gesture - even though I'm paying you and tipping you for this extra service?  And it hits me.  Vlad buddy, it's you, not them.  But, thank you for the talk, for the divine intervention and for opening my eyes again!