12.19.2011

Attracting What You Need, Just When You Need It

Every now and then, something happens that makes me believe in the laws of attraction. I'll forget for a little while...going about my day to day life, not paying any attention to the energy I'm giving off, to the thoughts manifesting in my mind, to the wishes, the dreams, the signs that are around all the time.

For years, I was unhappy in my relationship...YEARS!!!  I buried the feelings so deep and gave every attempt to make myself happy in the situation I was in.  I felt so strongly that I could make it work, I could easily jam a square peg in a round hole.  There is a line in Jerry Maguire that would echo through my head, "I can make this work".  And, over and over people would tell me, that relationships are work, marriage requires work.  So, to me, all this struggle was normal.  It was supposed to be like that...no one is 100% happy in a marriage.  No one is a perfect fit for another person.  It just doesn't work that way...or does it?

I found a letter that my ex-husband wrote to me when we were dating.  I want to guess that it was from 13 years ago, when we were struggling through our relationship.  We must have had another fight and apparently, according to the letter, I said I wasn't happy.  In the letter, my ex defended his actions, addressed the inadequacies in our relationship and promised to be all I needed him to be.  He wasn't affectionate, he didn't say he loved me, he kept me from friends because he was scared I'd leave him if I got too happy with them, he also kept me from my family as a way to protect me from disappointments they often left me with.  All the promises and14 years later, that they never actually changed.  I overlooked it, thought I was being greedy in my expectations, settled into a way of life that was just enough, but yet so not enough in the end to allow us to be strong enough to endure all the trials our marriage went through. 

All I wanted out of my ex-husband, I've discovered in another without really looking for it.  I found someone comfortable with showing love, hand holding, kisses and kindness.  He's embraced my family, cares about my children, isn't threatened by friendships I've had since childhood.  I have no idea what the future holds, but I'm certain that every day, I'll be grateful to have had him walk into my life at just the perfect moment.  I'll thank God for the second chance at happiness and I'll continue to keep my heart open for all the possibilities.

10.26.2011

You're my person

I love how safe you make me feel when I'm with you.  I love that you open doors and give kisses so easily.  I love that you understand how easy it is to speed down an open highway.  I love that you love ketchup.  I love that you love Christmas and will decorate the tree.  I love that you love my cooking.  I love that you will watch Greys Anatomy with me and try to keep up...and I love watching Walking Dead with you because I know you get excited about it. I love watching you with your kids and seeing the love they have for you on their faces.  I love your playful side, I love your messages to me.  I love your smile, I love your eyes, and I love how just sitting on the couch watching tv can be one of the most exciting moments of my day with you.  I love how we sleep together and how solidly I do sleep when you're lying next to me with your arms wrapped all around me, holding my hand in the dark. I love the sound of your voice on the phone after a long day of not talking to you.  I love the smell of your skin after not seeing you for days.I love that we both have similar ways of thinking about such important things as raising kids and prioritizing our lives.

Most of all, I love looking forward to our future...I really don't know if you'll ever understand how much you mean to me after only two months of having you in my life or how I can't imagine a moment without you going forward.


Thank you for finally finding me...it sure did take you long enough :) I LOVE YOU
 

 

10.12.2011

Are you a Dad or a Donor?

There is a theory that suggests that men fall into two categories - those that father children and those that raise children.  One is a constant in life's journey, the other...not so much. 

so...which will the father of my kids be in their lives??