It was posed to me, innocently enough, as a question, "You do know there's no Prince Charming to rescue you, right?" That question became my mantra back then, but I didn't really comprehend the power of those words until recently.
There was a period of my life when I was merely existing in a shell of myself and I grateful for the routine of my job and motherhood to get me through day by day.
I scrambled to find meaning in anything - my children, church, quotes, books, art, music, people. I needed to belong to someone, to something so that the mere acceptance by them would give my life meaning. It was such a struggle because everything I used as a substitution for happiness left me empty. When the song ended, the book ended, the music ended, the people were gone, children went to sleep, I had only myself and the pain was crushing. I could feel the ache of my heart all the way to the tips of my fingers. I wanted to be saved. I kept praying that someone would scoop me up, take away the hurt, provide me with comfort, shelter, security and love I so desperately needed. And, every day, I was left with just me and me alone.
I wish I could go back and find that moment when I decided, when I consciously chose, to stop looking for happiness outside of myself. Ever since that moment, life became a little clearer, day by day. I wish I knew what I was doing, who I was talking to when I stopped and decided to put myself first. I wish I knew what sparked the change. All, I have is gratitude for that moment when the Universe brought me the clarity I so desperately needed, to decide one path over another. Because, life, is about choice. Everything, every moment is a choice between positive and negative, right versus wrong, love over ambivalence.
When anything but love is selected, then the energy of that choice manifests in our relationships and in our health. We remain unsettled, unhappy, conflicted and those feelings tear at our physical being. The doubt and uncertainty create a magnet for only seeing devastation and negativity, and carrying on with less than ideal behaviors as temporary highs to provide us what we think is happiness and love. We can't see the possibility of something better. We eventually lose faith in ourselves and stumble back into the abyss when the high wears off, or suddenly goes away.
Every positive choice we make, when we chose to love ourselves more, builds and attracts more of the same to us. We gain confidence in our choices. We see the world differently and no matter how uncertain the situation in front of us, our positive frequency allows us to remain hopeful and present...there is no doubt, no uncertainty. We know because our entire being and vibration allows us to know we're at harmony with the love around us.
This picture I attached - the dragon is every bad decision and unhealthy relationship. It's impossible to slay a dragon, dragons don't die. They feed off our negative emotions and choices and grow in strength and size. But, when we begin to love ourselves more, choosing to heal our hearts, make stronger choices, we shrink the dragon to a size that can render it harmless against us. It remains with us, each day, waiting for a morsel of something to feed it. But, the choice is ours.
At the end of the day - are our choices feeding or taming the dragon?
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