What is it I deserve? And What Does This Mean Anyway?

...i've made mistakes in my life, i've let people take advantage of me, and i've accepted way less than i deserve.  But, i've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things i can never get back and people who will never be sorry, i'll know better next time and i wont settle for anything less than i deserve...

Instead of following my gut and heart over the years, I chose to take an easier route and accept something contrary to what I really wanted and needed.  It was easier to compromise on just about everything at the time than stand up, say no and walk away.  Being alone, lonely and weak allowed me to slip further away from who I am.  The hole I dug for myself got deeper and deeper over time and so did my resentments.  I'm not a material person, so when I talk about what it is I "need", it's not about a car, a house, big tv or new shoes.  What I needed was more than that and looking back at it all - the material got in the way of the intangible gifts I was searching for...and the emptiness inside grew. 

In this limbo area of my life I'm in right now, there is plenty of opportunity to really think about what I want in the future.  We've discussed certain aspects of it - and I've been working hard to build myself up to be a stronger person spiritually, physicially and emotionally.  I am waiting for another test of strength in which I'll face down a fear, situation or person and know completely that I'll not back down again when it matters most.  It's not that I'm giving up on compromise, but that for once, I don't want to be the one compromising all the time.  I want that balance, that give and take, the sun to my moon, the peas to my carrots, because I truly believe I deserve that.

By definition, to be deserving of something, means to be worthy of it. It means to be chosen to accept an honor, a gift, a compliment and at times, a punishment.  What is it that I deserve and need to remember and hold on to with all my heart as I continue through limbo to the other side of my life as I know it?   What are my deal breakers?